Things are getting worse.
In a few posts on here, I've playfully hinted that I have mental health issues. Those who know me in real life know that I am a little 'different', but a few times on here I've blown that completely out of the water talking about my mood swings and depression.
Well, in the past few days things have gotten worse. I've actually started having hallucinations. Not scary ones where voices tell me to burn things, but worrying, nontheless. Two days ago a mouse suddenly appeared on my laptop, let out an ear-piercing shriek, and went again. Yesterday a deep, booming voice slowly said my name as I huddled, terrified, on my bed.
These events are no big deal in and of themself. They're relatively innocuous, aside from the shock of them happening. The problem, of course, is what they herald.
I'm not an idiot. I can look at the symptoms - mood swings, paranoia, agrophobia, hallucinations - and see that they all point to one very scary disorder that I don't want to have. I don't want to type the words because that makes it a bit more serious, in addition to making me sound like some idiot who saw it on Casualty and wants to join in the fun.
I won't know for certain, of course, until it gets really bad. Until I wake up in hospital one morning after deciding I could probably fly if I tried. I don't want to go to the Doctor and find out on my own steam, as that might lead to medication, which is bad.
So for now, I'll deal with the giant mice and the loud voices. It could be worse, right?