How to Play Unicycle Hockey - The Kyle Hayes Way
1 - Stagger around for the first 10 minutes - unsure of yourself since you're used to a bigger unicycle, and you haven't practiced in so long.
2 - Attempt to turn a corner and fall flat on your face.
3 - Repeat step 2 a few times, until earlobes start to hurt.
4 - Accidentally run into the same person again and again, purely by accident. Be sure to make sure you apologise a lot - that totally makes you look less guilty.
5 - Try to block a shot, swing too hard and then hit yourself in the head with your own stick.
6 - Score a lucky goal when everyone else is at the other end. Ironically cheer yourself. Realise no-one 'gets' your humour, and you look like a prick.
7 - Walk home. In the dark. For an hour and a half.
8 - Watch Futurama and decide to play better next time.