More milk per milk.
That popped into my head earlier, and refreshed my brain with it's delightful ridiculousness. Three cheers for Jack, circa Dec. 2007.
I'm on the road again, writing another entry whilst in a train carriage. "Do try to keep all personal items with you." That's try, mind. Like it's hard. Well, terrifyingly monotone South West Trains voice-over lady - I shall try my very hardest. If I should fail, know that I did so not for lack of trying.
It's one of the rule's of writing that one should remove all unneeded words, strip your sentence down to it's bare necessities essentials. Strictly speaking, one could remove the "Do try to" from the Train lady's little safety speech, but it would turn into an order, rather than a suggestion. It would lack a certain humanity. The automated, soulless robot message would lack a certain humanity.
The speech isn't necessary, of course. Everyone is already trying to keep their stuff with them. If you manage to lose your stuff on a train, it's not likely that this message will do anything to help you. To be honest, I doubt that a trained medical professional could do anything to help you. Stupid is as stupid does, and stupid does lose it's stuff on a train.
The message certainly isn't stopping any extremist attacks, either. There are no paramilitaries who plan to use a C4ed-rucksack to disrupt British travel(and the lives of those allergic to shrapnel) who are suddenly dissuaded to do so by "Try to keep all personal items with you." On the rare occasions these events happen, they'll either get off at Brockenhurst and leave the bag behind, or blow themselves up to. 'Losing' the thing doesn't enter into it.
So, to sum up - the message is pointless. Won't stop stupid people losing shit, won't stop terrorists blowing shit up. The only thing it serves to do is take up vital auditory bandwidth as I try to listen to 'Panic at the Disco'(no exclamation mark anymore, fact fans) on my iPod.
And no, no derisory comments about "maybe it's a good thing after all". 'Panic' are good. And anyone who disagrees is a racist sexist ageist bee-ist.