Whatever shall I do?
Despite my desire to get back into the routine of daily posts, this weekend the internet in halls and university itself shall be switched off, so there will be another short gap.
I have prepared by downloading all the shows I'll need(some Futurama, BSG, Peep Show and Jordan,Jesse,GO!) and you can do the same by grabbing the latest episode of The Luke Gray Show and ensuring yourself 40 minutes of top-quality audio entertainment.
Shameless plugs, ladies and gents.
24 November, 2007 - 04:48Comments (View)
Anyone remember when this was a 'daily' thing?
Nah, me neither.
Hopefully the Writer's Strike will be over soon, as I believe both parties have agreed to go back into talks after Thanksgiving weekend(that's this weekend, English folks). Still, I've been coping and preparing for the loss of my favourite shows by watching series that I've never had the time for before. Which ones you ask? Well, here goes.
As mentioned in my Twitter and Facebook Status feeds, I'm watching 'Battlestar Galactica'. It's an odd choice, because although I am a geek, I'm not a nerd - and BSG is for nerds. People who like Star Trek, Farscape, Andromeda. I'm not really a fan of the genre, but this show has really gripped me. It's compelling, suspenseful, it's got a lot of hot actresses in revealing garb, and there's a distinct plan to it - unlike 'Lost' I feel like this show has a definite ending, and each episode is slowly building to it.
In the "guilty pleasure" section is 'Gossip Girl'. It's trashy teen-chick-lit TV about Upper-East-Manhattan dwelling rich kids, but in a world where 'The OC' has been cancelled, this is the next best thing. Plus it's got Veronica Mars doing the voiceover(because Kristen Bell rocks at V.O) and Blake Lively(of 'Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants') in a starring role. I need my fix of adolescents coming to grips with the world, okay?
I own the entire fourth season of 'Futurama' but have never really been a fan. I rectified that a few days ago by downloading a few random episodes and finding my tastes have matured to where I can appreciate it's often subtle humour. Now I'm watching it all from the start(pacing myself, there's only so much) and having a great time. Bender mournfully saying "A robot would have to be crazy to wanna be a folk singer" caught me completely off-guard in the second episode and gave me one of my biggest laughs in weeks.
I'm also delving into some audio stuff. I listened to all of Armando Iannucci's Radio 1 shows from 1993-4 and now I'm finding it hard to resist stealing stuff for The Luke Gray Show. Some really out-there, hilarious stuff.
'The Sound of Young America' and other Maximum Fun podcasts are flling the hole that Garrett Murray has left(since the Maniacal Rage podcast is taking so long to update) with insightful interviews and witty banter. It was very, very hard to resist stealing the "friends with Batman vs. best-selling author" 'would you rather' conversation for my own show.
That's nowhere near everything I've consumed in the past few weeks, but I'll leave it there for now. Part Two coming soon?
23 November, 2007 - 08:04Comments (View)
"Ice to meet you"
Edward - It's... it's weird, right?
Paco - What?
E - Actually, don't worry.
P - No, tell me. What's weird?
E - Well... "Paco". Sort of an odd name for a bear, right?
P - Really? Never thought about it.
E - Especially for a polar bear.
P - What? Why 'especially'?
E - Well... 'Paco' is kind of a Mexican name...
P - That's racist!
E - That's not racist, it's true! I mean, you couldn't be any whiter if you tried, man!
P - My fur is translucent, actually. My skin is black underneath.
E - Now THATS racist. Just another white boy trying to pretend like he's from the 'hood.
P - Like you can talk.
E - I'm mixed race, man. Penguins are half and half. Like a mermaid.
P - What? Mermaids aren't black.
E - No, but they are half 'n' half. 50 percent woman and 50 percent fish.
P - Don't talk about fish. I'm getting hungry.
E - Then kill and eat a fish.
P - No way. I'm a pacifist. For reals this time.
E - No, you're an idiot. An increasingly hungry idiot.
P - Maybe I'll eat YOU.
E - Don't be silly. You'd be spitting up feathers for weeks.
P - Fuck off, Edward.
18 November, 2007 - 05:30Comments (View)
'Compartmentalising friends' or 'How I learned to stop worrying and become a sick robot'
As a boy genius, I became good at many things. Acting, writing, f*cking. One thing I became very, very good at is cutting myself off from people almost completely.
Take, for example, the friends I made in America. Jim, Robin, Joseph... everyone I met over there, everyone who changed my life, everyone who made me feel happy to be me. I haven't talked to a single one of them since July 18th. I lived with these people for 3 months, I became a part of their family in some cases, I loved them.
And I just completely shut down as soon as I got back on English turf.
I do this a lot. It's not because I don't want these people to be a part of my life - I'm usually incredibly lonely and appreciate people talking to me - it's just that there's some part of me that makes it hard for me to keep these things up.
It's like when people ask me "how are you". I had to consciously train myself to ask them back. For years I would say "fine" and leave it at that. People thought I was rude, but it would just not occur to me that it was a question that was meant to be reciprocated.
I'm not good at being a friend, I guess. I compartmentalise everyone. The people I met in Falmouth are the people I met in Falmouth. I consider that chapter of my life closed, so they get filed away in the same "closed" folder. Same with people from America. People from High School. People in my own family, sometimes.
I don't like it about myself, and sometimes I'll try and bust the cycle, but it's hard. How do I explain to those people in America that I didn't mean to be a jackass and ignore them, but it just happened? That's a crappy reason.
Still, sometimes people from my past don't give up on me, which is nice. Sometimes they'll extend an olive branch, give me a call, shoot me an e-mail. Which is tremendously nice of them.
And I'm sure that one of these days I'll be able to respond.
13 November, 2007 - 02:36Comments (View)
Yes, an explanation is forthcoming. But not now.
I sometimes wonder if all I ever write about here are may failings. Granted, it's not like bragging about my successes would be better(might come off as slightly arrogant, that) but reading about my intrinsic flaws on every post can't be too happy-fun-time, right?
It's three in the afternoon, and I got up about half an hour ago. It's also a monday, which means I have missed my lessons for today. Which annoys me. I like monday lessons, the lecturer is great, there's good opportunity to chat with friends, and the subject matter is always funny and helps me become a better writer.
So why did I sleep in so late? Do I not have an alarm?
The thing I keep forgetting about me, is that I cannot be reasoned with in the first few seconds after I have woken up. Try as I might, I can't convince my brain that although I feel tired, the shower will wake we up. Just doesn't work. And for some reason my brain thought that we'd totally have enough time to get ready if we got up at 10.
Considering that my lessons started at 9, I can only presume that tired-Kyle thinks he owns a time machine.
12 November, 2007 - 15:09Comments (View)
Going for a drink.
For a brief second, I consider going out as I am. I'm just going down three floors, getting a can from the machine and then popping back up. Surely that short journey isn't too treacherous? Perhaps I have nothing to sweat about.
Like I said, it's only a brief second that I consider that. I know that the fake boobs aren't going to be making the journey. I reach into my bra and pull the custom-mades out, feeling like I've removed a part of me as they settle into platelet-like shapes on the desk. I say 'platelet-like' because obviously one side is convex as opposed to concave. But, semantics.
I grab the money and keys and close my door behind me. I don't even get as far as locking it before I realise that even without my pretend protuberances, the bra itself still gives out that 'he thinks he has boobs' vibe. It's a 34C racerback - retaining it's shape in spite of adversity, or lack of flesh, is part of the charm.
Back in the room, I try and take it off without taking off my shirt and top. The sleeves are too tight, though, and I have to go all the way down to skin, which is... unpleasant. Depilatory cream only lasts a week or so, and my (few) chest hairs are showing now, and my flat chest is distressing also. I pull my tops back on sharpish.
I try to leave again, but look at my shoes on the way out. Black dolly shoes with a pink trim and cute little bows near the toes. The bows are the dealbreaker - I need to change shoes too. I am always terrified of becoming a middle-aged guy in a sequined dress thinking that he's "passing" - the bows on the shoes fall way too close to that line.
Whilst I'm changing into plain black dollys(my other footwear option being high-heeled boots, and I'm not good in them yet) I take the hairband off, too. It's been in almost all day, so my hair looks funny - a hat will have to cover that up. A brown beanie makes an odd accessory to this outfit.
Still, at least I've gotten rid of the most "obvious" stuff. It's saturday night, so most people are out. Still, those that are in are in high spirits, and likely to make jokes or, worse, wait until I'm gone and then make comments. That's the part I hate most, because my control is totally gone.
For some reason, I do a quick 'tuck' before I leave the room for the final time. No one will be looking at that area but I feel like I need to do it. I don't like glancing there and seeing the shape, betraying the dick beneath. Better to tuck.
Even with all these precautions, and my awareness of not wanting to look too odd, I still take advantage of the opportunity to practice rolling my hips as I walk. Not often do I get long, straight areas to practice on, especially with no-one within eye distance. It's risky, anyone could come out of their room at any moment, but I need the practice.
Once I've gotten the 7-ups, I race back up the stairs, desperate to return to the sanctuary of my room. I sashay down the halls again as best I'm able, and my heart pounds more as I get nearer to my door. So close to being a perfect little trip to the venders - no comments, minimum shame. I fumble with the key but make it, just as I hear someone leave their room.
The cans get put down, and my cans get put back into their bra. I brush my hair, put on the hairband, and change back into the bowed dollys. They're more comfortable, honestly.
11 November, 2007 - 01:31Comments (View)
A bit stolen from Ze.
The Writer's Guild of America is currently striking as they attempt to negotiate with the major studios on the hot-button issue of rates of pay for DVD and Internet residuals, ie. how much they get paid for their stuff being shown in different formats.
Although the strike is happening in another country, it still will have a massive personal effect on me, in two ways. First, this strike is estimated to last around 9-10 months, during which time no new scripted television shows will be written, and neither will any films. I watch a lot of television, and in the coming weeks as the backlog of shows like 'Scrubs', 'Pushing Daisies' and 'Heroes' is used up by networks running out of time and options, I'll slowly lose my favourite shows one by one.
The last time the WGA took strike action was in 1989, and the studios coped by creating a new genre of unscripted television based on real life - Reality TV. It's prescence among the schedules overseas and in the UK is already almost all-emcompassing, and in the coming months the number of reality shows will steadily grow. Starting with "Springer Hustle" - a reality show about the making of Jerry Springer - a reality show itself.
The other effect this strike will have on me is more long-term. I intend to become massively successful as a comic performer and writer all over the planet. The striking writers are, essentially, fighting for how much money I'm going to get paid for repeats and downloads of my future shows. That means I'm pulling pretty heavily for the Writers in this battle.
The thing is, by the time I'm famous(and current estimates suggest that this should be in about 7 or 8 years) I don't really forsee television working the way it currently does. With the rise of the internet as the main way to watch television shows(at least among my generation) and the relatively low cost of production quality equipment available to up-and-comers such as myself, there really is no need nowadays to have the support of a television network.
In the past, producers of entertainment needed the networks to get their output to a vast number of people, but with current and future online delivery mechanisms a few megabytes of video can be seen by millions of people within hours. Television networks are no longer necessary. Only quality content is.
So the second, major, effect of this strike on me isn't how much I'll get paid for my content. It's how I'll produce the content in the first place. This strike is(hopefully) the first step in writers everywhere waking up, and realising that they don't need the networks to get stuff done. This strike is about writers taking back their power, and taking control of the future of audio/visual entertainment.
09 November, 2007 - 23:43Comments (View)
Yeah, I'd say I'm pretty famous.
The show went great, and I can't wait to do it again. Thanks for asking.
Missed the show? Well, lucky for you the highlights are available for download at LukeGrayShow.com. You can even check out the awesome RSS feed and make sure you never miss an episode.
Pretty cool, huh?
03 November, 2007 - 02:53Comments (View)
Ray-Ray-Radio
Quick update to let you all know that I'll be co-hosting the Luke Gray Show on Sin Radio tonight from 9-11. There's at stream available at SinRadio.co.uk , so go there and give us a listen.
If you want to contact me during the show, why not shoot an e-mail to us at studio@sinradio.co.uk.
If you can't listen, don't worry. The highlights(without commercial music) will be available in podcast form a few hours after the show wraps up. We do have a new site ready to go up once that special first episode is available.
01 November, 2007 - 17:49Comments (View)