I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds.
‘NIN - YAKMN’ commented on my post yesterday, saying that “nobody changes the world” and “anyone who says they can change the world is an idiot, and more often than not liberal”.
I must say I wholeheartedly disagree on all points. One man(or woman) can change the way the whole world works. Rosa Parks, Martin Luther King, Ghandi, Bill Gates, Lee Harvey Oswald, heck, even Jesus Christ - one man that has managed to fool the majority of the Western World into doing what he says for the past two thousand years.
All it takes is one person with an idea, and the entire course of history can change. That’s something you don’t need to believe, because the facts make it irrefutable. Without Oppenheimer, Hiroshima wouldn’t have happened. You can’t argue that. I like to think that one day I could do something as important as he did. I just have to browse through a copy of The Daily Mail to work up enough rebellious anger to want to start a revolution. Given that, I obviously disagree with your point that “anyone who says they can change the world is an idiot”.
We live in a world where great change comes from the oddest places - a member of the Boomtown Rats feeding the poor, a science fiction writer taking charge of some of the planet’s richest wallets and biggest egos, a fat c/nt from Reading changing the face of British comedy. Change is, by it’s very nature, hard to pin down. So it isn’t stupid to think it could come from me, or you, or anyone. Because that’s what change does - it takes expectations that are based on what came before and turns them on their head. Because change is powerful.
Oh, and one final note, ‘more often thon not liberal’. Sigh. You know I like you, man, but I really think your blind and unjustified hatred of liberals like myself(well, I’m actually an Anarcho-Capitalist, but with a Liberalist bent) needs to be re-thought. You seen to have an opinion of liberals shaped almost exclusively by the American Right-Wing Media, which doesn’t make sense, as you are neither an American citizen or(as far as I am aware) Right-Wing. Take some time to read up on UK Liberalism and maybe rethink your opinions.
31 March, 2007 - 00:38Comments (View)
I'm wonderin' if you're going to, jump up and down like a kangaroo.
No post yesterday, because I usually write these things at night, and I slept all through last night.
Normally I would have been trying to stick to the polyphasic routine, but I had to have a very intense conversation with someone today, and I felt 8 hours sleep would help that.
It didn't. It just made me tired and cranky. So f*ck that noise.
I spent the vast majority of my time yesterday breaking the serial numbers on the many applications I've downloaded for my Macintosh computer. Normally I will gladly pony up the cash for the apps I frequently use, but if I'd paid for everything I cracked yesterday I'd be down almost 200 bucks. And as we all know - I ain't rich.
I was also informed by Jack that the links at the top of this page don't work in IE. Whilst I still maintain that I shouldn't have to perform crappy fixes for a broken browser, Jack was very helpful in illustrating the fact that there are users who don't know how screwed Internet Explorer is, and have never heard of Firefox. So a few minutes after this post is up, I'll have that fixed.
Sorry for the inventory post. I don't have any fantastical yarns in me today, I'm afraid.
28 March, 2007 - 00:38Comments (View)
It is hot. I'm talking jumping juniper hot, people.
And thanks to the benefits of British Summer Time(which I incorrectly reffered to as DST the other day) it's nearly six and not even dark out. One could get a tan, at this rate.
Seriously, though. It is bakin' out there. I accidently wore my pleather jacket in Poole and nearly burned up.
Other things that have burned up today include my brand new bicycle pump. I just managed to inflate the back tyre before the tube connceting bike and pump melted before my very eyes. It appears that I was pumping too fast and the friction did a lot of damage.
You can guess by the title of this site that the previous sentence is one I've come across before.
Ha! "Come across". Even more relevant.
26 March, 2007 - 00:37Comments (View)
I'm warming up.
I think it started around 11pm last night. I had my nap and woke up feeling entirely different. That happens sometimes.
Actually, wait, it started at 8am yesterday morning. When I sat down at my computer and typed out synopses of my first four novels.
Maybe I should explain. That might be good.
Since becoming more aware of what makes my brain tick, I've learned to separate my behaviour into two distinct catagories. For argument's sake, lets call them 'manic' and 'depressive'.
Most of the time I'm stuck in the latter, and it's usually pretty obvious. I sit around, doing nothing. Watching TV, listening to podcasts and playing Tetris. Not wanting to go out, and having to pretend everything is fine when I am forced to be around other people. And, of course, thinking about death.
(I should state here, so people don't get worried, that I will never, ever take my own life. It's selfish and disgusting and I could never put the people I know through that.)
The flipside is my 'manic' behaviour. Thoughts constantly racing through my head. Big, grandiose ideas - the aforementioned novels, website ideas, carpentry projects. I am a dynamo of creativity, filling notepads and hard drives with plans. The same plans tend to repeat - write a TV show, start a business, organize everything.
I tend to prefer the manic phase, obviously. When I'm 'up', I have a great belief in myself, that I can do anything. And it brings with it an unrelenting energy, at least the first few days. There are downsides, of course, like my uncontrollable spending habits, or my proclivity to skip meals. I'm too busy for food, damn it!
So, as I said, I'm warming up. Gearing up. This is the second post to here in 4 hours. I just spent ten minutes trying to fix my bike(turns out the pump is broken). I've e-mailed a bunch of people with long, sprawling messages. I have an odd urge to dig out my guitar and try it again. As I type this, I can't wait to finish so I can move onto sorting out my 'To Do' list. I'm waiting for the tumble dryer to finish so I can do some ironing. Because ironing is awesome.
It's fun, being like this. All I have to do is hide my debit card, be sure to remember that I'm not invulnerable, and I can do whatever pops into my mind.
As fun as this is, though, I'm terrified too. Because I know it's only a matter of days, maybe a week if I'm lucky, before everything crashes down again, and I have to live in the real world again, and act as if I'm okay with being a human being. As usual, I silently hope I can hold it off as long as possible.
I may have said too much.
25 March, 2007 - 00:36Comments (View)
1 Sunday cool thing. 1 Sunday complaint.
Daylight savings time has hit the UK. Since the clocks have gone forwards, everyone is complaining about having 'lost' an hour, and my not-exactly-bulletproof sleep schedule is going to be a little shaky for a few hours. Okay, I can deal, as can everyone else.
It turns out there are some real benefits to DST. Less electricity is used as lights don't need to be turned on as soon in the evenings. Car crashes in the peak evening time are reduced, as it's lighter out. The ecenomy is strengthened as people are prepared to go continue going out, despite the advancing hours.
For 18 years I've been thinking that DST was an antiquated waste of time. Five minutes on Wikipedia cleared that up, no problem. Cool, huh?
My Sunday complaint, however, is also time-based. Well, it's actually more of a problem with the day itself. Why, when we live in a society that(by and large) does not accept the Bible as the written word of God, do we still shut down the entire planet on Sundays?
Shops are closed. Websites don't update. Banks and postal services sit on their bloody *rses all day long. Why? Because of a story where an omnipotent God decides he needs a day to rest?! Craziness.
Then again, I have a whole big problem with the Gregorian calendar anyway, so I guess the 'sunday' thing is small potatoes.
I think I have another post brewing in me. I'll give it a few hours.
25 March, 2007 - 00:35Comments (View)
Things are getting worse.
In a few posts on here, I've playfully hinted that I have mental health issues. Those who know me in real life know that I am a little 'different', but a few times on here I've blown that completely out of the water talking about my mood swings and depression.
Well, in the past few days things have gotten worse. I've actually started having hallucinations. Not scary ones where voices tell me to burn things, but worrying, nontheless. Two days ago a mouse suddenly appeared on my laptop, let out an ear-piercing shriek, and went again. Yesterday a deep, booming voice slowly said my name as I huddled, terrified, on my bed.
These events are no big deal in and of themself. They're relatively innocuous, aside from the shock of them happening. The problem, of course, is what they herald.
I'm not an idiot. I can look at the symptoms - mood swings, paranoia, agrophobia, hallucinations - and see that they all point to one very scary disorder that I don't want to have. I don't want to type the words because that makes it a bit more serious, in addition to making me sound like some idiot who saw it on Casualty and wants to join in the fun.
I won't know for certain, of course, until it gets really bad. Until I wake up in hospital one morning after deciding I could probably fly if I tried. I don't want to go to the Doctor and find out on my own steam, as that might lead to medication, which is bad.
So for now, I'll deal with the giant mice and the loud voices. It could be worse, right?
24 March, 2007 - 00:34Comments (View)
The Kyle Hayes Media Review
Casino Royale - I finally got around to watching this last night, and I was impressed. It was a little held back by the 12 rating, something epitomized by the lengthy poker scene that went on a little too long. Other than that, a decent action film that really invigorates the franchise. I've not been the biggest Bond fan, but I'll definitely be back for the next one.
Oh, and the free running in the second scene was amazing. Every time I see that stuff done I want to do it too. Those people are fabulous.
Raines - This series starring Jeff Goldblum, character actor extraordinaire, has the intriguing premise of a detective who hallucinates conversations with the victims of the murders he's trying to solve, simply out of a need to bounce his ideas off of someone. To be fair, I'd watch Goldblum read the phonebook(to use a tired and clich phrase) so this show could do nothing but entertain me. Still, it's funny, smart and just the right amount of emotional, with a twist you won't see coming(at least if you don't watch the trailer on YouTube.)
Raines can be found on Torrentspy, fer those of you in the UK. Seek it out already.
Hellogoodbye - ZOMBIES! ALIENS! VAMPIRES! DINOSAURS! - I discovered this album by browsing Virb, and like most of the music I come across without the help of mainstream media, it's blowing me away. Hellogoodbye pump out solid electronica with hooks that'll stay with you for days. I've had this album half a week, and I've listened to it over fifty times. It's that good.
Stargirl - Once again I've returned to my favourite book of all time. A book I've had to buy three times after reading it to death. This story, about a girl with a unique and macical viewpoint on life, is masterfully woven by Jerry Spinelli. If you read it and don't like it, I don't want to know you.
The edition I'm currently reading comes with a silver cover instead of the usual pink. So it's okay for guys now! Not that that matters, but some people can be remarkedly old-fashioned and pig-headed about these things. ;)
21 March, 2007 - 00:33Comments (View)
Musical inclinations.
Yeah, I know, two posts within very short space of each other. I didn't post yesterday, so this makes up for it. Sort of.
I've been wanting, lately, to try and write a few more songs. One reader(maybe two?) is aware of the lost classic "Where's My Nametag?", a song I still find myself humming every couple of days. I really want to go back and record that again, experimenting some more with the vocoder work, and maybe some loops.
I also never finished the "Mrs. O'Connor" song, featuring Charlie Hill. I thought that was hilarious at the time' and still do, but I wasn't Mac-savvy enough. I am now of course.
Seeing as I have nothing but time these days(thanks uberman + unemployment) along with a single-minded focus towards putting stuff on this site, this is more of a warning than anything else.
That's right. You've been warned.
20 March, 2007 - 00:32Comments (View)
Important dates in my life.
2nd April 1988 - I am born.
2nd April 1989 - I am fully toilet trained.
1st September 2000 - I join Poole Grammar School.
??? July 2002 - I leave Poole Grammar School.
15th April 2005 - Start of my first proper relationship with a girl.
24th February 2006 - Mrs. O'Connor brings Playmobil toys to class.
Sometime around here I sart unicycling.
26th April 2006 - The first(that we know about) time that Leo kissed a hawk.
3rd June 2006 - The day Jack and I went to Falmouth for the first time.
4th September 2006 - I move away from home.
1st October 2006 - I start at Falmouth University.
25th October 2006 - I think "F*ck that noise" and leave university.
3rd December 2006 - First time I fully shaved my head. Took three hours.
28th February 2007 - I return home.
Did I miss anything?
18 March, 2007 - 00:27Comments (View)
Girls.
Last night's dream was more like a re-run of a previous day of my life. Specifically, it was a shift I worked at Somerfield last summer.
I don't like to talk about dreams(they're f*cking boring) and I want to get to the meat of this post, so lets just say that the main focus of the re-run was a conversation I had with a female employee.
This employee(who I won't name because people I know read this) was someone I felt I really clicked with, and we flirted on a number of occasions, with her even going so far as to imply that I had gotten her extremely turned on with my wordplay.
Needless to say, I had a girlfriend, she had a boyfriend, I moved away for a while and by the time I came back she had gone too.
So nothing ever came of it.
Last night's dream, of course, has me regretting the way I handled my intense feelings towards her, and I have spent no small part of today running dozens of scenarios in my head of 'what I should have done'. That's had me feeling pretty down.
Still(and here's the main point after all that pre-amble), it's probably a good thing that nothing can happen. Whilst I can be an intensely interesting, funny, kind person to be around, I can also be(and often am) evil, dour and boring. This is due to a me being absolutely batsh*t mental, and I'm only getting worse as time goes on.
Considering that I drove my last girlfriend to hate me on more than one occasion(one time doing so purposefully, which is insane) and I wasn't nearly as bad then as I am now, I would hate to see what I'd be like now.
In short, I'm saying that it's a good thing I don't have a romantic interest right now. Hopefully I'll eventually get myself under control, and then I can try it, eh?
Still, I really miss that awesome girl. Cos that's how it works, doesn't it?
16 March, 2007 - 22:04Comments (View)
Feeling much better today, thanks.
At some point last night things shifted and I stopped being depressed and started acting really crazy - repeating the same words over and over and throwing myself onto the floor, testing the shapes my body could make.
The whole time I was aware that what I was doing wasn't right, but I didn't seem to be listening to myself. If that makes sense. I managed to snap out of it though, and talked to Mel whilst I pulled myself together.
Right now I'm feeling relatively normal and logical. I even considered going into Somerfield to get my job, but that isn't a wise thing to do until I get my sleep pattern down. And I don't ever want to have a normal person job again, so that's an obstacle.
Still, like I said, I feel normal(for me), which is good. Of course, now I face the lingering spectre of depression/crazy. So there's that.
Oh, and I ran out of boxers so I'm wearing skin-tight running trousers under my jeans.
Hm. Yes.
14 March, 2007 - 21:56Comments (View)
Not having a good day today.
I overslept last night and woke up to the noise of Mum and Mel yelling at each other. I think this, and feeling a bit weird from the day itself(for some reason I felt like I was a very unpleasant human being in Poole) is the reason I've been feeling so crap today.
I'm trying to ride it out as best I can, but I keep bringing mself back to thoughts of utter worthlessness and disgust with myself. It really sucks, to be honest, and it's times like this I get the really stupid thoughts about my continued existence, which is never fun.
Hopefully I'll take a nap at some point and wake up feeling fine. Untill then, I just have to keep myself occupied.
To that end, here is another ridiculously funny and sureal clip courtesy of Vic and Bob:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DyK5CdZCaaE
13 March, 2007 - 21:54Comments (View)
Please forgive me, if this post is a little strange.
I switched my keyboard to the Dvorak System last night to enable me to type faster.
It was totally simple to make the switch, since I'm using a Macintosh computer. A simple case of changing a preference in the menu bar and swapping around the keys on my keyboard, and I was good to go.
It is totally confusing to use, especially since I'd gotten so used to typing with QWERTY over the past 7 years. I keep going to hit completely the wrong keys, and I'm using the hunt-and-peck system even more slowly than a school-teacher.
Hopefully over the next few days I'll get it down, at which point I won't have to spend half an hour typing a post this short!
12 March, 2007 - 21:54Comments (View)
"i wank daily" 3.0 is live!
So I've been working on this for the past two days, pretty much non-stop. The main design is definitely not original and totally inspired by Macintosh Computer. The colour blue I chose is stolen directly from the 'loading' bars us Mac users know and love.
I really like this design, although I know it's not the perfect one. I can easily see myself changing this thing every month or so, with it getting better each time. I don't look forward to the work, but I do look forward to the results.
The past two days probably aren't going to have posts assigned to them, because I think I did more than enough typing this weekend. I will still, of course, post everyday. I'm going to push myself to get it done on the day itself as opposed to early the next morning with some time-shifting.
You may be intrigued by our banner, insisting that we are the 'proud sponsor of octopus watch 2007'. All I can say is by the end of this year you'll know more about octopodes than you ever thought possible.
Keep watching the seas!
11 March, 2007 - 21:53Comments (View)
Things look a little different around here.
I know, I know - third redesign in three months. This time I did it because the old design looked like a drunken mess in Internet Explorer, and unfortunately 99% of the world uses it. I can't afford to have my site mashed around just because I have principles about not kow-towing to Microsoft.
I know this design won't stick for long, because it doesn't grab me. I see sites like http://www.ilovejackdaniels.com/ and think "My site should look that cool!".
I seem to have trouble coming up with ideas that I don't instantly judge as 'a rip-off'. I know that it's the internet and there are so many websites and only so many designs, but I still end up settling with the most pedestrian cr*p just because I think no one else is doing it.
I obviously have a lot of free time at the moment, and I'm going to spend the next few days really knuckling down and getting this done for good. I really liked the most recent design, but I know I can do better.
Watch this space.
09 March, 2007 - 21:52Comments (View)
I wish I could keep to my self-imposed schedule.
But sometimes crap gets in the way, unfortunately.
This is a filler post, I'm afraid. I've just spent a couple of hours getting .htaccess to work, and I'm about to re-do the navbar and set up mod_rewrite, which will be endless amounts of fun(!)
Let me explain what .htaccess is, for those of you don't know. .htaccess, among other things, allows a webmaster such as myself to password-protect various areas of a site.
For instance, ever since this website has been on the internet, anyone on the planet could have typed "index.php?p=post" into the URL bar and been able to enter a new post as me. That's obviously a bad thing.
With .htaccess, that is now no longer possible. To write an entry here(other than a comment) you have to know my user-name and password, which you don't. So ha-ha!
The reason it took me so long to get working is because... I am an idiot, and I forgot to specify exactly where the file containing the password was, so the server got all confused. Oops. It always takes me forever to spot these mistakes.
08 March, 2007 - 21:51Comments (View)
I'm not saying I'm Jesus, that's for others to decide.
I maintain that if you want to kill someone and don't want to get caught, then it has to be a homeless person, living no less than 5 miles from your home, but no more than 20.
You have to walk up to them, briskly, late at night and then suddenly reach out and stab them in the chest, as close to the heart as possible. It'd be good to be wearing a long coat that masks your body shape, and a hat would be handy too.
Walk away, knife still in hand(or, by now, pocket) and hide in the shadows of an alley or doorway for a good half an hour, maybe smoke a cigarette and look at your watch impatiently, then stride off 'annoyed'. When the police look at the surveilance tapes of the area, you need to be either not visible or not acting like someone guilty. A guilty person would leave the scene obviously and quickly. Keep your cool, look normal.
When you get home, wash the knife thoroughly, and put it back with your other utensils. The police aren't going to be able to use it as evidence if it isn't near the scene. If there is any blood spatter on your clothes, bleach them. It doesn't matter if they get irrevocably coloured white - you need to get the evidence off.
In the next few days, don't even think about what you've done. Treat it like a mundane, everyday task. It's done now, we can leave it be. If you think about it, you're going to end up giving yourself away, by either being tempted to revisit the scene, or by reacting suspicously when someone mentions the news story to you.
You must wait at least a year before the next time, but it can't be a year exactly, or they'll immediately think you're a serial killer working with a pattern and they will profile you like *that*.
Never tell anyone what you did. Don't even think about it too often, or you will f*ck up.
And that's how you murder someone.
07 March, 2007 - 21:50Comments (View)
Money, money, money.
It's a rich man's world.
The electricity bill for the flat in Penryn came today, for the first time in 6 months. Jack and I had been under the assumption that we existed in some kind of grey area where, due to having no meter in the flat, we didn't get charged.
Well, that fantasy world came crashing down, I can tell you.
Bearing in mind that we were there six months, had the boiler and heated towel rail on constantly, in addition to the terribly ineffecient heating system and the projector being on almost all the time, we didn't do that badly. I'll have no problem paying it once my money comes back from Heather and Gay.
See what I did there?
I also found out that if I don't officially quit university until April 17th, then I'll receive two grand, half of which is a grant. Add in the bonus of getting my tax back from the last year, and I think I'll leave it a while before contacting the folks of Falmouth again.
I'm becoming more and more intrigued with the idea of being a perpetual tourist, and am thinking of at least getting rid of some of my 'dead weight' possessions, like various kitchen supplies and some of my... gasp!.. comics. Just to test the waters.
06 March, 2007 - 21:50Comments (View)
Chillin' with ma comic book homies.
Spectacular day today. Just spectacular.
I started out with my usual monday trip to Poole with Tim. We bout some comics, ate some pizza, and had a slightly uncomfortable train journey when we stumbled across Jack. Still, it was better than any of the trips I used to make with Leo. I've been going to Paradox for well on a year and a half now. Ever since the same day the skeleton of 'Escape' was filmed. That's pretty cool.
After cooling my heels at home for an hour or so, I hopped back on the train to go to Poole once more(using the same tickets, as they hadn't been checked. Naughty me, right?)
I unicycled to the comic book meeting that takes place first monday of every month, and bumped into Andy(the comic shop owner) about 300 yards from the shop itself. He'd just given blood(for the 35th time!) and was searching for something to give his blood sugar level a boost. Shame the shops were closed.
I was really early to the meeting, so we hung out and talked in the shop for an hour or so, about a lot of stuff, from comics to distribution processes to Heroes.
The meeting itself was fun. The discussion was spirited, and it seems that people find me ranting about bad comics(and things I hate in general) to be hilarious. Should there be more of that here? Anywho, I got to use the phrase "Bumf*ck, Ohio" multiple times, so all was good.
We then went to the pub near the shop for the usual post-meeting drink. I say usual, but I've never been before because pubs scare me. I'm really glad I went this time, because it turned out that one of the members of the group is AJ Butchers, writer of the Spy High series of books, a few of which I own. It was amazing to meet not only a published author, but one whose work I'd read and enjoyed. I'm sure I plagued him with far too many questions, but he didn't seem to mind.
Everyone tried to convince me that I'd end up going back to university in the future, which I'm dead set against. One guy(I'm terrible at names and also faces) recommended selling all my stuff and 'picking a direction and walking in it'. Whilst I like the idea, the only things I have of any worth are the things I wouldn't want to give up. Still, I do like the idea of leaving the country, and if my trip to Japan goes well I may consider moving there.
After the drink(where I had a single coke and nowt else) I waited at the train station for a good 40 minutes, meeting a bizarre, drunk, on-sabbatical rail worker who was obsessed with odd hats(like the one I was wearing) and with showing people his scarred hand(his left middle-finger had been lopped off at the tip by a railroad spike). He was entertaining to talk to, as was most everyone I spoke with today.
I really should get over my fear of people and speak to more strangers. Persons can be really interesting.
05 March, 2007 - 21:49Comments (View)
The Kyle Hayes media review.
Hot Fuzz - A bumbling cluster-f*ck of a film that doesn't know what it's doing. There are a few funny moments, but the most I laughed was when Mel dropped her bag of Skittles and they cascaded onto the ground. It's a shame, because I like Spaced.
Heroes - Is getting better and better, especially with last week's episode changing everything. I can't wait for tomorrow night's ep, which I will have to wait until tuesday for, naturally.
Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip has been placed on indefinite hiatus, which means my un-natural addiction to this god-awful show can finally stop. Still, I'll miss it's rare good moments.
Scrubs - The recent 'clip show' episode was bottom-of-the-barrell stuff, admittedly, but it still made me cry like a child. Thats more due to personal stuff happening in my life right now than the show itself, but ya gotta give Braff some credit. Unfortunately.
Civil War #7 - An issue that makes me want to exclusively read Indies from now on. And that was a sentence that makes no sense to most of my readership.
2CRfm - Still loud and annoying.
The Sarah Silverman Program is funnier than I expected, and it helpfully features the eye-candy of the Silverman sisters. I continue to fail to understand how anyone thinks Brian Posehn can act, but aside from that(and the bloody songs), the show has no downsides.
Oh, and if you're not watching Penn and Teller's Bullsh*t, you should be. Go to alloftv.net for the goodness.
04 March, 2007 - 21:47Comments (View)
Something terrifying.
Someone using Internet Explorer 6 and living in Essex, UK, came to this website by searching for "chicks with d*cks massage" on Yahoo!
Not only does this confuse me, since(to be honest) I don't really host that sort of content here, but I'm also slightly disturbed that when I repeated the search, my website didn't show up in more than 20 pages of results.
That leads me to believe that either this person has exhausted 20+ pages of hot she-male action, or he decided that the results that had popped up so far couldn't possibly be as chick-d*cky as it got, and that the best was yet to come.
As was he.
03 March, 2007 - 21:44Comments (View)
Heather and Lay are b*stards.
Most of you probably know that I left my flat in somewhat a state of disrepair. I did, however, leave sufficient materials laying around for the damage to be repaired quickly and cheaply, so that my deposit would not be eaten into.
Things would have been fine, and I would have happily sat around waiting for the letter from H&L(my estate agents) telling me that I would not be receiving my full deposit back.
However, my standing order accidently paid them 500 instead of 65 yesterday(as payment for the last few days of rent), and I had to give them a call to get my money back.
Not only will I have to wait until tuesday for them to transfer it back(and then wait until Friday for it to appear in my account), but the manager of the branch, Paul chewed me out over hole in the floor.
He was "not impressed", apparently. And he doesn't "understand why you'd want to lose your deposit over this". Um, because that's what a deposit is for? Besides, I'm not losing it. You're just gonna use some of it for the repairs. Ret*rd.
The worst part of, though, was "we've obviously got the phone numbers of your guarantors here". To rent the flat, we had to get our parents to sign documents saying that if we didn't pay rent on time, they would. Paul Beever, of Heather and Lay(Penryn) is, as far as I can infer, threatening to call our parents on us. Despite the fact that Jack and I are both adults, responsible for our own actions, and no longer answerable to the people that birthed us.
I have heard reports on the University forums of Heather and Lay being not nice people, I just didn't realise that it could be this bad.
Jesus.
02 March, 2007 - 21:43Comments (View)
It's the first day of the month. (Part Two)
We had chosen to continue on to Tower Park to catch a film, since we had nothing else to do. I had envisioned the night being about going to various drinking establishments, and in retrospect I probably would have prefered that.
There were next to no parking spaces to be had outside UCI(I refuse to call it 'Empire'), and we could see a long queue snaking away from the box office. Jack realised aloud that it was, of course, Orange Wednesday. I hate crowded movie theaters, but the guys didn't mind, so carried on searching for a space.
Jack had to park in the Tesco area, some distance away from the cinema, especially in the wind and rain. I suggested we just buy a DVD from Tesco and watch it on my projector. Again, in retrospect, the cinema would have been a better bet.
We walked into Tesco feeling like we owned the place. Dave and Jack were giggling like schoolgirls, and I trailed behind them, my wallet eager to cater to our whims.
We hit up the DVD aisle, where there was a terrific selection. And by terrific, I'm mispronouncing terrible. We all kept making ridiculous selections ("Bob the builder! Lazy Town! Veronica Guerin!") until we settled on 'Click!', which I did not want to watch.
Jack started whining about food, and I agreed that we should have some snacks for the movie. 'Some snacks' quickly became:
- 20 eclairs
- 18 glass bottles of Coca Cola
- A pack of maoam bars
- A multi-pack of crisps
- Weird 'sweet squirters' that used a pump to squirt sweet juice into your mouth
- Donuts
- Mars bars
- Fizzy cola bottles
- Regular cola bottles
- Fizzy laces
and countless other sweet items that I can't for the life of me recall.
I was feeling a little nervy about how much we'd bought, a feeling that was confirmed when we got to the checkout and the total came to 52. Jack and Dave started laughing like pot-heads at this. Well, they would. It wasn't their bloody money, was it?
We drove back to my place, at which point I realised that we'd probably be too loud whilst watching the film and would wake my Mum up. I suggested we instead watch the film in Jack's pimped-out garage, or settle for my bedroom(the Funnel Web). Jack and Dave seemed fine with the web.
Once we were in my house, I went downstairs to put the eclairs in the fridge, and came back to my room to discover Jack smushing prawn cocktail crisps into my pillow. Like I said, sometimes Jack isn't fun to be around. At all. In fact, sometimes he's a f*cking c*nt.
We arrived at Jack's, after I'd spent ten minutes persuading them that we pretty much had to, and Jack and Dave tried to lock me in the car whilst they fetched the garage keys. At this point I realised Jack must have actually been drunk, since no one in their right mind would think that it is in any way possible to lock someone in a car.
Setting up the projector in the garage proved difficult. I was missing a vital cable to connect my laptop to my projector, and all the computers in the garage had defects that prevented them playing DVDs. In the end we watched the film on my laptop, with Jack and Dave on the sofa, and me on a chair behind them, wrapped in my duvet to keep warm.
The film was awful, and the garage got progressively colder and my duvet got progressively damper. We hardly ate any of the foodstuffs I had spent my money on, and even now they still sit in Jack's mould-infested garage, waiting to be consumed.
Jack dropped me off at my place at two in the morning, at which point I had to change my bed covers (thanks to the crisp pillow and damp duvet), before finally crashing onto the floor(I don't have a bed here).
Reading all this, one would think I had a terrible night.
01 March, 2007 - 21:42Comments (View)